ugh i want to update on you guys.. but i dont have time right now..

and im so stressed out :/... sigh

uh oh... i guess this sorta confirms it?? :/

me: *showing my nursing picture* jay and carl says my smile looks forced... to me processing in my head.. bad pic... leading to... im ugly. lol!

ivan: youre not ugly at all, and if you WERE ugly, i wouldnt bring you food.. just saying.

me: [jokingly] lol my non-ugliness bring food?? this is an amazing power.

ivan: and maybe beacuse your also a down-to-earth chick.. thats what i like about you.

i dunno how to reply back.. >.>...an awkward, "cool"? lol

so today.. at work. one of the ppl i texted about my vent about how students frustrate me.. was Ivan.

and he texted back asking, "are you PMSing right now? you dont usually get this cranky... right?" -___-... i hate it whenever guys ask that!! no im not PMSing! cant i just get annoyed at reasonably annoying things? sheesh.. 

then i tell him i got annoyed at his reply. he eventually said "sowwi"

later, he mentioned he was craving dimsum so i suggested Asia Kitchen near somersville. 

text convo:

me: making me hungry lol

Ivan: your break is a 3 right? cuz i ain't about to finish all this by myself

me: really? that's so nice of you (cant deny food Dx)

......

in person:

blah blah blah..

me: you see that guy over there? *points at cafeteria where this guy was inside*.. that guy asked for my number once long time ago but i told him i didnt think my bf (at the time) would like that.. i always see him at the cafeteria, and whenever i pass by, he goes up to the window and bangs/knocks on it and scares the crap out of me @.@ but he just wants to say "hi" xD.. yea.. (jokingly) i dont know why, i attract ghetto guys (cus the guy appears ghetto)

ivan: im not ghetto (then changes the topic)

me: *continues to eat food like i didnt hear that*

then later he invited me to watch a movie with him and his friend/friend's gf... but i said dont think i can cus i gotta study (plus i thought it wouldnt be a good idea to)

------------------------------

oh yea, and Carl gives me long looks now.. sometimes it makes me feel uncomfortable and i look away feeling a bit awkward.. 

cus i did my hair this certain way and i also have eye lash extensions on (that lasts 1 to 2 weeks) and he mentioned he likes my look

and there was this one time i asked him to drive my car cus i was tired, he didnt want to.. i gave a pout look and he said, "ugh.. and when you look sad, it kills me".. but i didnt mean to make him feel obligated after that, i was just truly bummed that i had to drive again. then i said "no no its ok, ill drive" but he grabbed the keys anyways..

if someone complimented on your looks, in this way:

"for an asian chick your size... you're pretty cute/hot... especially with that side pony tail you had today"

and you thought he only saw you as a friend, would you not think that anymore?

so today Carl and i went to play tennis and study afterwards for our next test next week.

after tennis, we went to his house cus Carl needed to change. and his grandma was there asking me so many questions lol... one of them being "so did Carl meet your parents yet?" and i was like... "uuuhhh... well when i asked him to come help me with something, i also had to go pick something up from my parents.. so yea he has" xD.. Carl seemed so embarrassed lol.

later, we went to paneras... and then we got hungry and found a vegetarian/vegan japanese place in concord. they can serve sushi w/ brown rice @.@.. whoa! lol [even tho Hang wouldnt like to eat brown rice lol..], but it was a lil bit pricey, but good! 

then we went to starbucks to study, the one near concord's Nations.. it was soooo packed! i think since they close at 11:30pm.. and so we sat outside... but there were smokers and we were dying! eventually we went inside... and sat next to this physical therapist massager guy giving his client (who recently had a stroke) an arm massage and i was like, "hey where's mine?? *extends my arm* xD" but oh man, i shouldnt have opened my mouth cus this physical therapist was such a chatter box!!! @.@.... i feel like i know his life story and plus what his future is going to be like.. lol! but its cool. he wants to be a professional arm wrestler.. so he taught me how to arm wrestle better. and he mentioned that im pretty strong for a girl lol!

anyways... im so thankful to Carl cus he fixed and added soooooo much to my ethics essay @.@.. he's so smart! i wish i could be as smart as him.. 

what else happened recently.....hmmm...

yesterday, Ivan (our other classmate), randomly asked me whens my break and what i wanted from Quickly's if he were to go there and drop the boba to me.. and then brought me boba and fried octopus from Quickly's. so sweet! i mean, i mentioned he owes me boba since he stuck me twice for the IV needle.. but i thought we were just kidding around about that. and he stayed around for my whole 25 min break. i was thinking, is he up to something?? >.>.... or maybe he really is just being a cool friend lol!

my memory fails me sometimes... like.. really bad.

there use to be a girl who worked here named Racquel... but i dont remember what she looked like! and im replacing how she looks/talks with our current worker Renee.. the thing is they are both black and.. large.. >.>.. sorry just sayin.. lol

but my coworker, Faidra, showed me a pic of the current Racquel and she lost a tremendous amount of weight! and she looks so awesome! i was shocked! altho i dont remember what she exactly looked like b4 when she worked here >.<... so now i can only imagine her in that pic...

im terrible :p

so im at work right now.. and im soooooo bored... working 9.5 hr shift. then the following days 10 hr shifts. *dies!*

and Chunni always assigns me work to do. and sometimes she says to take my time since im "too quick".... but the work is sooo boring!! @.@... x__X.. i wish she could give me more intense work.

i mean, i can only highlight, "ctrl+c" and "ctrl+v", type a few phrases here and there, click some buttons here and there.. and at the same time being on facebook, texting, xanga, checking my email, ordering my books for csu east bay, turning in my intent to register online for csu eb, and zoning out so slowly. lol!

ugh.. still need to finish my ethics essay... maybe i should bring that tomorrow and work on it xD

my shoulders hurt... need massage..

past few days.. played tennis, badminton, basketball, jogged, and football (w/ Carl, Ronnie, and Rodi). im pretty sore.. and im trying to eat healthier.

also been walking around the lake twice each time im at work.

the endorphins have been kicking in and ive been in a better mood ... except right now of course lol

i think ima try to not wear make up for a whole week and see how it goes..

cus i just feel insecure w/o it

but at the same time im not really trying to impress anyone at the moment.. esp since im still living here.

plus everyone says i dont need it and that i look the same. 

and also that it makes getting ready for the day faster.. i take like... 15-25 min on make up (depending on if i mess up)

how i do my make up:

1. apply face moisturizer

2. apply top eye liner [or black eye shadow if i run out of eye liner pen] both eyes

3. apply primer above (youre really suppose to apply primer all over eyes first but my eye lids are weird)

4. apply eye shadow at bottom water line 

5. apply eye shadow at eye brows to make more defined/structured with an angled brush

6. apply setting spray: urban decay all nighter spray only to eye lids (if im out all day, ill apply hair spray on my eye lids, it works!)

[7. if im going to a party, ill apply contouring make up to my cheeks and double chin to look slimmer]

[this is what i do EVERYDAY!!]

it gets tiring..

so RIGHT AFTER my last post... Carl texted me while he was still at work, wondering why i was "off" today. and if im mad at him and/or ronnie again.

and i told him the truth, that i was kinda trying to ignore him because i felt like he was giving me attitude all day after work yesterday. 

and now he says he wants to talk face to face rather then text... >.>...