on sunday after church, Carl and i went to Ronnie's house and played mah jong.. and then we rode bikes to the park.. and went on the climbing boulder and the rope climbing thingy (like the one from monkey park)... and then we played frisbee and threw it at each other for a long good time. it was refreshing!! and such a good day

there's this new korean guy going to church named Su Kim (or... Kim Su.. lol!), and i think he is kinda cute in a mature way. he's 33 years old, but he looks like he's maybe.. 28 or something. Carl and i met him by going to the new comers meeting with Pastor John and his family. turns out, Su just graduated from a BSN program from Utah and his family is here in Concord. he said he found this church by a friend and i think he mentioned he really came to like this church. maybe he has a gf tho. i dunno LOL

yesterday, after work, i asked Carl to take me home and we can do hw or w/e at my apartment until bible study with Ronnie/Rodi's growth group later at 7pm. and Carl was i dunno.. giving me attitude here and there! it was really getting on my nerves!!!! and a lot of the times, when i say something, he just doesnt say anything at all and that makes me feel ignored which irritated me more. 

and other times he says something, and i couldnt hear him, and he just says, "nothing!/nvm"... i hate that -___-... either speak up or dont say anything at all if you keep talking under your breath!

and he asked if he could see my ethics paper. i told him not to laugh at it cause theres a lot of grammatical errors.. after he read it, i asked him how it was, and he said "well.. yes there are a LOT of grammatical errors, and i thought you could have used better examples"... and then i forgot what he said.. that he wasnt going to tell me better examples even tho examples for this topic are hard to find.. i told him, "youre mean.." and he said, "yea, that was mean." but didnt say sorry or anything.....

so i tried to keep my distance from him the rest of the night except during the car rides.

during the bible study, i played a lot with a cute baby ...

on the ride home.. i was telling Carl that the baby was so cute! and then he said..

carl: go make your own then

me: nah.. im too young! ill wait till im like.. 28 or something... thats if i have someone

carl: you will.... youre attractive and you have a great personality

me:... thanks! but.. im picky. just like how youre really picky right? haha (awkward laugh)

anyways... i told Jay all this about Carl, and Jay says that it seems Carl is REALLY liking me now and is confused because he knows he can't have me yet he still likes me.. >.>.. maybe i should distance myself from him a little bit..

my co-worker said i was her favorite person to work with made me feel so warm inside lol!

she says i explain things clearly... which i think thats funny cus a lot of the times im pretty bad at that xD... and i go straight to the end of what im trying to say... and then go back up and explain it further or.... basically not in chronological order hehe.. which gets ppl (especially Jay) soo confused haha!

im sad that that Anielle will not be able to go to my pinning ceremony T-T.... sigh... 

same with Uly, Adrian, Mitul (prolly since he's going to Japan sometime right?), Joey, and Krystle.... my most closest friends when they were here.. 

now im just with Hang... psh! lol jk Hang! love you!!!!!! xD 

why couldnt you all just go next year!!! -___-" why you guys gotta be so selfish!!! trying to.. experience more things and... help little korean kids how to speak in english!

xD

im soooooo distracted... i really dont want to study ... but im really trying to..

i think i cant super focus cus im congested (either stupid allergies or the supplement allergic rx)

yesterday while studying with Carl and Ronnie at barnes, i was sneezing soooo much @.@... i finally went to target and bought allergy meds.. it took 1.5 hrs to kick in tho :/

Jay cleaned the apartment which im happy about and thankful!.. now if only he would clean my room... hehehe.. i owe Jay a lot. even tho he is more irritable nowadays.

so i was curious about the galaxy and stars so i watched a few youtube documentaries.. and our largest star is sooooooo big that it would take a spaceship around 1,100 (??) YEARS to go all the way around it. the earth compared to that star (forgot the name) looks like a dust particle. and also heard what our sun sounds like in space.. and also the earth. it was intriguing.

also learned that in 4-5 billion years from now, our galaxy will collide with another galaxy called Andromeda. and there will be almost zero chance that the stars/planets would be effected and would just pass by each other since there is sooo much space between planets/stars (w/ gas and dust) in each galaxies.  

anyways... back to studies.... ugh... two tests this week -___________-...

it took me 6 hours to complete one page of my essay xD... so sad.. i get distracted sooooo easily!!!! but yay i bought a new watch! water proof and its so pretty! it was $16! good price. the sad part is.. wont arrive until february -___-"

i need space from Jay -___-.. i guess some things i do annoys him.. which causes him to give me attitude.. yet he doesnt just straight up tell me about it. 

but i was so proud of myself cause i stood up in front of him one time and told him off and shut him up!! >:]... well i dunno if it was really effective tho.. maybe i only annoyed him even more xD

i still cant even trust him even as friends.. prolly cus i still have some feelings somewhere in my endocrine system.. he says he wont see anyone until we move... but for some reason i keep assuming or thinking he is seeing that woman behind my back :/... yet he sincerely tells me that he would never want to make me feel awful (more than i do already?) and he always tries to hide his phone away from me.. i think i saw a picture of her as the background texting under her text frame (w/e you call it) (didnt know phones can do that!.. if only mine could... if only it was the galaxy note II lol!..)

oh jealousy... why must you torture me so?... i want to move out!!!! D: ... but where?? dont want to go back to parents... i look forward to the day of moving out so i can officially get over Jay.. to the point where if he has a gf, i wouldnt care that much or that i would just get over it. 

anyways.. been single for 6.5 months. yee!  

omgah, saw this totally cute guy working in the transfer center xD... would suck to find out if he's younger than me.. (all these whipper snappers coming from high school...-_-)... but as i was walking passed the transfer center, we locked eyes.. i looked more back to act like i was trying to see around the place... then i looked at him again and he was still looking at me... and i was like... "yea he's cute..." hahaha... 

ugh so embarrassing near the end of my shift... my eyes were all smudgy and no one got the nerve to just tell me -___-.. and i was helping students in person! i was covering the front counter.. and when i went to the bathroom, i was like... wow i look dead! like.. having panda eyes!!! >.<... whyyyyyy lol!!

oh yea, and then there was this other attractive white tall male that Chunni had an appointment with, that i interrupted their appt cus i had to get my purse and go home. the guy said with a smile, "you owe me one!!"...he had a nice deep voice.. i shoulda said, "ok! " with my squeeky voice hahaha (not sexually -_-) but then Chunni came back in to her office room and interrupted before i could say anything, i only got to laugh. boo. haha

http://www.datingish.com/770756151/5-more-creative-marriage-proposals-captured-on-v%E2%80%A6/

check out these proposals! so cute!! i especially like the meme one and the building light one.

its hard to start doing tasks when you sleep in -_____-... 

it sucks when im alone at home i barely eat anything.. i cant live alone! D: .... having company = eating!!! LOL

Today's To Do List:

(1) choose a topic for my ethics paper that i have to freakin write over break [on my calendar i put "work on intro"... but then i moved that for tomorrow haha]

(2) figure out how to return Jay's rental books

(3) work out and drink my whole jug of water

(4) pay for bills

(5) watch Flower Boy Ramyun Shop!! (its kinda funny and interesting so far.. it has a 4.5 star rating from... this one website i forgot )

anyhuuuuuuu... im cold.

my classmate says im a heart throb lol... no im not! 

but.. why do i attract smokers?? -___-" (well except one of them who is actually an anti-smoker)

anyways.. 

yesterday, Jay said he would go with me to drop off gifts. but b4 we went..

Jay: are you sure theres no hope between us?

me:................... uuuhhhhhh.... arent you still talking to that woman???

Jay: not really anymore.. but if i did end up quitting, would there be any hope?

me:... i dunno... i dont want to give any hope... and i cant predict the future... but i dont want to lead you on! 

Jay: thats true.. we cant predict the future.. but hope is all i got. 

me:...... [dont know what to say]... 

[later, Jay brings me to go shopping for my Christmas gift since i got him something lol..]

me: i cant find anything i want.. its too last minute and only got 45 mins to shop :/..

Jay: well i didnt know you were going to get me a gift.. i thought we agreed no Christmas gift this year!

me: we never said anything!

Jay: it was implied since were broke! lol.... i WAS going to buy you a necklace today, but you rushed me home.

me:... really?... aaww! *side bumps into him*

Jay: yea, but now im gonna change it. 

me:... aw... -_-

===================================

anyways, it made me kinda smile of him still thinking about us... but... at the same time, when i look back into the past, i remember the lie and that woman. trust issues.. i mean... i trust him as a friend, but is there a difference with trust in friendship vs. relationship??... cus isnt there friendship in a relationship?

i dunno, i dont wanna think about it.. i dont wanna get into a relationship right now. and i dont want to break my principles of going back >.<.. 

YES!!!!!! IM DONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.... until 4 weeks later!! lol

a few things ive found on wiki answer.

is it better to fill up the gas tank when you are almost empty? is it better/cheaper to fill it all the way? 

"Running a car with less than a quarter tank can shorten the life of the electric fuel pump and running on empty will often destroy the pump."

"Fill back up when you get down to a 1/4 tank because the bottom of your tank has trash and other elements that can hurt your engine and clog your fuel filter."

here's an article to support above: http://news.consumerreports.org/cars/2011/05/running-on-empty-low-gas-in-the-tank-can-be-costly.html

... i also found somewhere [couldnt find it again >.<..] that if you keep having tank less than half full, more air inside tank, more room for evaporation of gas.