so i learned in Psych 14 (Human Sexuality) that in order to have a successful relationship, you need mostly two things: (1) financially well off (by yourself) and (2) emotionally independent

emotionally independent meaning like.. if Z leaves Y for X, Y can move on eventually and not be "waahhh i cant live without you!!" or "waahh!! i need you! im going to die without you!"

you also need to love yourself first of course.

cause if you only care of what others feel, and not care of how YOU feel, then you dont love yourself. and how would OTHERS (BF/GF) care how you feel if YOU dont even care how youself feels?

i also learned that parents need to stop babying their children at a certain age.. like.. how my parents have always babied me! @.@.. it makes me DEPEND on them A LOT. and then they say stuff like "omgah you cant even do this!? how are you going to live in the future when youre married and have kids???".... well ima say to them "THEN LET ME! LET ME GO! LET ME LEARN FOR MYSELF! BECAUSE APPARENTLY YOU DIDNT TEACH ME!!!"

i made a new friend in this class too :] hopefully we'll k.i.t.. she seems very nice and talkative. 21 years old, filipino. i told JanJan about her and he's all of a sudden interested hahahaha!

im sad cause JanJan cant add bio10.. -____-.. he's still trying but i doubt it will happen. i dunno, hopefully someone drops and then they can add him. bio10 is sooo boring! omgah.. cause its all easy and just review.. i text the whole time im in class lol.. lectures are slow too. but the teacher is nice.

anyways..

my dad thinks im stupid for planning to move out and thinks im a bad daughter now. cause ill be spending way more money than i should. but i think it will be a learning experience. i need to grow up eventually! but they dont see it that way.. in today's society, im an adult. in my parents eyes, im still their baby. they think that i should leave home until im like... 25.... HELL NO! lol.. if i stay with them until 25, i will prolly always depend on them ><... i mean, if i happen to just go down hill, they will always be my safety net hehe.. but im not gonna sit around and do nothing like how my brother did for the last year of his unemployment.

on a good note: i finished my hw for the weekend because working in financial aid workshop lab..

bad note: i dont understand complex poems.... @.@... i cant interpret them well... im bad at analyzing. like i can never understand sonnets either. i read them, and they go WOOSH! right through me

lol!! finally!!!

Rox: thats one of my pet peevs too even tho i do it also lol. i wish ppl can be more upfront about things. cause i already know ppl (including our friends) talk behind my back.. i sense it @.@... but i try my best to be like "w/e" about it cause ppl just dont understand and i guess dont want to take the time to understand.. but at the same time it can be awkward to bring things up. i just hope everyone tries to look on both sides instead of their own. like how you said ppl dont know your past.

yesterday was my first day of school. OMGAH! worst morning lol

i woke up 30 mins late cause my alarm was set on a different day... my bad... and so i had to get ready in half an hour [i usually get ready in an hour]..

when i FINALLY parked, hella far, i was already 5 mins late to class.. -___-... and then i thought Human Sexuality was in the CC!! but it was in the science building!! aahhh!! haha.. so i was like... 10-15 mins late?? LOL...

when i walked out of the elevator, a guy freakin tripped me!! i dunno if it was on purpose or accidental, but gosh what an a**hole!!! didnt even say sorry.. d*ck!

when i got to the class, i had to sit on the floor along w/ 5-7 others lol..the teacher is so funny. cusses like theres no tomorrow @.@.. he says "were not gonna talk about making babies, were gonna talk about pleasure!" "we'll talk about f*cking later"..... haha wow

i can already tell that i wont like my english class.. mainly cause he gives credit for participating ><... im a hardcore listener. lol.. i dunno, raising my hand gives me anxiety attacks [being over-exaggerating]... but i really do feel my heart beating faster and harder... =/.. ironic cause i raise my hand to get friends' attention

had an hour of break, so i went to see Jay cause he had work off.

bio10 w/ JanJan. hope he gets in! our teacher is on a wheel chair.. but sometimes he gets up to write on the board..... o.O... maybe he cant stand up very long?? half of our exam [the essay portion] will be take home test :]

i dont understand ppl who dont register on time [besides those who have special circumstances].. but i mean those who are just lazy and decides to show up to any class that would take them.. *cough* JanJan...

so Jay needs to find an apartment ASAP.. im trying to find good cheap ones. i went all over craigslist and apartments.com and apartmentguide.com.. found 19 good deals [some are 1br and some are 2 br]... we just wish we could find a roommate =/..

i feel really bad for Jay's sister... she was crying yesterday cause of the whole house being sold. that was the house they grew up in too and everything happening so fast. she's helping Jay with the downpayment for w/e apartment were getting and co-signing.

im hungry

going to sf:

-stay one night at a hotel
-fisherman's warf (clam chowder and walk around)
-exploritorium
-japan town (crepes and japanese restaurant where you grill yourself the food but pricey cause not enough proportions)
-take a ferry
-bubba gumps
-lands end park

this is the hotel im thinking of staying at. but what sucks is that its 21+ to check in -____-

http://from.bookit.com/addons.php?hotelId=SFOVC&hotelVendorId=EI&roomId=KINGDLX&tripType=hotel&areaId=105&marketId=50&locationId=SFO&fsId=&pt=&fl=&tl=&ptl=&hotelUniqueId=48330&xmlConnectionId=0&fd=2011-02-25&td=2011-02-26&rm=1&ap1=2&mp1=0

not doing all.. i think ima just let Jay pick out what he wants to do in this list lol.

new pet peeve: when im talking to someone and they are conversating in a way where they reference something in their conversation that i have no clue what he/she is talking about... in other words... ppl shouldnt have inside jokes with ppl who dont understand them.. otherwise i dont connect with you and prolly wouldnt want to.. >.>.. lol

anyways..

Jay and i returned the massager to get the upgraded version of it cause it has better options and it comes with a heater [instead of the other one that just overheats haha]. and i also got the warranty for 2 years. total it cost 40 something extra.

anyways..

Hang-a-Bang!

i think its the attachment!! maybe you subconsciously feel like you can change him and maybe you feel like every time you go see him he will change and maybe this makes you feel like he still needs you. and maybe because the more you try the more its harder to give up?

i dunno, just a guess

i need to get ready to go to work -____-

i need more fiber in my diet.... restaurants dont give enough fiber [unless you just choose vegetarian dishes]

i think its still adult to stay out late xD [unless you have work in the morning].. in fact, i think its more adult. i mean.. cause children always has to go home early or on curfew. therefore.. Uly is a child.... hahaha jk

i admit i hate being seen right through @.@.. Jay knows me from left to right ><... i cant hide anything from him LOL.. he knows when im thinking about something that i dont feel like sharing at the moment, but he gets it out anyways lol..

he really knows how to analyze me or my thinking and he's always like.. 90% right!

and some of it i dont like to admit to

like omgah.. im hungry and craving hella evil fatty good stuff [hotdog, corndog, chilidog, pizza w/ all meat, curly fries, wingstop fries, wingstop chicken, burgers, soda, etc etc]!! lol

but need to achieve the oh dang hot body!!

no one has posted much in the last few days.. >.>...

i made sweet and sour pork and cheesy scalloped potatoes [i know weird mixture of dishes cause one is chinese and the other is just.. american?].. Jay said it was delicious [sweet and sour pork] but i know it wasnt good lol.. i burnt it a lil bit on a few of them.. and the meat is dry ><... but the sauce which i made out of scratch tastes good! :] and im proud of that lol.. the scalloped potatoes i made were from betty crocker [easy kind to make lol] everything by myself took a total of 2.5 hours to make -___-.. also lots of spilling of scalloped potato mixture.. hehe........ cause i doubled everything and i guess my casserole dish was too small.... and it took an hour to cook surprisingly @.@... but came out good :]

putting Anielle on a strict diet! im her personal trainer! yea!! Jay is too, but he's so busy with work.... so he will only on his days off and if Anielle is free too... but i think Jay will be more brutal than me.... way more.. >.>.. i want Anielle to run uphill outside, like maybe around my neighborhood.

EOPS always gives me some kind of trouble every sem @.@..... grr..

kinda annoyed no one from my office told me that theres no work on monday cause of MLK day.

my dad says theres this chinese word that sounds just like our last name.. pronounced shi-ao [prolly different tone than my last name].. he says it means that children must be nice to their parents and obey them and also give them happiness.

i try.. but sometimes what my mom does/say just drives me crazy ><... i just snap.. like today..

mom: i can eat this? [me and Jay's left over pho]
me:......fine. go ahead
mom: can i eat it?
me: yes
mom: i can eat it?
me: OMG YES!!!!!! -.-

i dunno i just dont have patience  w/ parents.. ><.. i mean, how hard is it to understand a simple "yes"? or a "no"?..

like

mom: omgah youre not eating enough vegetables w/ that! here ill open a can of corn ok? or ill cook you some spinach
me: no i dont want it. ill just eat some fruits later or something
mom: here, do you want it?
me: no, i just said no
mom: im gonna give it to you, ok?
me: NO!! HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU!!
mom: ooo ok ok ok

so i need to work out! and eat right! definitely no more eating late [like past 10pm].. need to exercise! for some reason when Mitul said that im getting chubbier, just motivated me to eat better and exercise more lol. unfortunately, not everyone is available -____-.. to work out with that is..

on sunday, i hung out with Uly and Mitul and lil bit with Philip. after, i tried calling Rox, then Anielle, then krys. but no one answered lol...... i wanted to work out so bad ><

i also wanna work out longer... half an hour isnt cutting it for me =/..

i really do want that "oh dang hot body!"

it sucks to have a small bladder ><.. after drinking one bottle, i pee 3 times in an hour -____-.. like "omgah i really need to go!" type of feeling too.. part of the reason why i dont drink water so much

im learning how to cook filipino dishes from Jay lol. yumm...tinola

Jay and i are trying our best to save money now. been cooking at my house a lot more than going out to eat.

made Jay watch "Going the Distance" ... he said it was ok and funny. he says i torture him with chick flicks

what should i do for Jay's bday?.. he's not having a celebration cause he's too stressed out to be having one.. or thinking of having one.. =/.. his bday is feb 22. i think ima buy him a dallas cowboy nfl jacket.

what do you give bfs for valentines day? o.O

the couples date was ok.. not as eventful as expected.. just went to Claim Jumpers, then CoCo Swirl, then Target.. >.>..... i was hoping for karaoke. i wouldve sung, shoot. but also my tummy was hurting soo bad @.@.. ate too much hehe. i wasnt even hungry when we went to eat lol..

what also ruined it for us is the waiting game.. since it started at 3.. we didnt leave till like 5 -___-... i mean, we coulda just went somewhere and meet up with others later, but no one was responding to it ><.. oh yea, plus we had to wait for Jason Cheung lol.

Jay and i always arrive first @.@.. so now were just gonna arrive late.. like.. couple hours late now since events dont start till then.

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i had weird dreams... [dont worry Hang, its not scary lol]

i dreamed that Jay and i got into a fight.. later i went to visit a friend at his work [i think it was Edward Tanujaja], he was a scientist/professor or somethin. i was looking at his work w/ other ppl, i found out that all Koreans were bad! in S. Korea, they had unknown places called "white rooms" where they plant tubes to grow babies to increase N. Korea's army. but the citizens of S. Korea, the ones who go about their normal lives, have no clue about it, its all the govt doing.

later, i wanted to use the restroom, then i saw a creepy naked baby crawling on the floor. it was emotionless. i got scared and ran back to Edward and asked him about it. he said to just ignore it, dont look at it or it'll go crazy.

later, we went to visit the classrooms in the building, and i met a few ppl. a big white guy that looks like a bully, a black tall skinny guy, and an asian guy that looks gay but isnt. lol.. later, Edward and i were just going to go somewhere to get a bite to eat. then the other guys that i met wanted to take me out. then they started fighting. and i was like, wtf! i have a bf! -.-.. so i just left. i think i went to Uly's house to tell him about Korea.

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another dream..

it was swim class.. for some reason there was a tube slide! so i went on the long tube slide, for some reason i was holding a piece of paper [document?], and when i got closer to the end, there wasnt enough momentum so i got stuck there @.@... so i just started running in the tube haha. at the end, b4 jumping in, i told a girl sitting next to the tube to hold my piece of paper. i jumped in, then i realized i forgot to bring a towel! so i asked Roxanne but she seemed annoyed about it. when we went into our locker rooms, it suddenly changed! i didnt know where my locker was! i tried finding it, and went all over the locker room.. i went so far that i went into the guy's locker rooms instead @.@... so i ran back. i finally found it! lol. at the end, for some reason there was hecka gum in my mouth ><.. i tried spitting it out, pulling it out, but it was endless!!

THE END.

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hmm... imagine if ppl had to go into my dreams like inception to find out about the Koreans or to get a hold of that document.

havent been updated with asian music

just discoverd

mblaq's song which seems koo. "Cry".. omgah they wear too much make up @.@.. ><

i was so psyched when i saw that Yunho and Changmin had a new single/mv!! but when i saw it.. i was like "nooo what did they do to Yunho's hair!?!?" but when they spiked it up, it looked cute on him. later in the vid, i was like "omgah.. what are they wearing!?!? x.x" haha.. the song is alright.

omgah GD and TOP has a new album! omgah TOP has white blond hair @.@... kinda looks good on him tho lol

@Hang: you should get the caramel salted hot chocolate! its amazing! but im not sure if its still at starbucks cause the holidays are over. i still have your gift

@Anielle and Hang: get better! Anielle, did you give Adrian his gift from me?

@Uly: your phone is off too much! D:<.. what happened between you and Nancers going to fish ranch for new years eve?

@Rox: hi haha xD. i have your dvd still

i feel like Krys and i have tension.. cause i havent hung out with her in a lil while, and she hasnt responded to one of my fb comment on her wall.. *shrug*.. she makes me feel like i have a relationship with her out of all my friends lol.

Jay still has yet to talk to her -___-.. cause he feels like she is wrong for trying to decide what is right for me when really its about my happiness.. something like that.. its complicating.

im going to girl's night tho at her house tnight. but im only staying till 8pm cause its me and Jay's monthiversary and we wanted to go eat dinner. i hope she doesnt get annoyed at that. =/..

some ppl have told me that if she doesnt accept the fact that im in a relationship now and gets mad at me for not spending time with her as much anymore, then she isnt being a friend cause a friend would want what makes me happy too. i already feel betrayed by her for a certain thing but she doesnt know that i know so i wont bring it up to her.

honestly, i still wanna chill with her sometimes, but her attitude towards me and Jay just makes me wanna back off from her @.@..

Jay says that he use to be like me, where he tried to please everyone at the same time. he says, and i know, that its impossible and im going to disappoint someone. and if they wanna be a bitch about it then they arent my friends. but of course, ill always try my best to be there when friends need me tho. like if my friends were in danger and called me up, ill try to be there for them

so my dad told me that he thinks Jay is stupid if he doesnt wanna go back to college. i feel the implication that he wouldnt like him to be my future husband [since b4 my dad was advising me on how to choose a good husband].. which is wwaayyyy too early to tell @.@..

but im honestly really happy with Jay cause he treats me like a princess :]

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my dad thinks he is stupid for not going back to school

i told Jay last night what my dad thinks. and he said honestly, he is just not motivated to go back to school

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my dad thinks they give free money [fafsa/grants] to ppl for a reason, because education is important and wants ppl to go to school

Jay says that the money that are given to students are for those who are motivated, who actually WANT to go to school.. he said "why would i want to take that away from them?"

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my dad thinks that education is important so that they get a degree and always have a job

Jay says, how many ppl are there that have a certificate/degree and do something with it? theres a lot of ppl who graduate or get something, but do nothing with it.

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my dad thinks that Jay's parents should tell him to quit his job right now, and support him to go to college

Jay told me that his parents never supported him. he started working since he was 8, picking up any cans/bottles he can find just to get $20. he never got allowance, which is why he thinks getting allowance from parents is stupid. he thinks kids shouldnt wash dishes so that they can get money, he thinks kids should wash dishes because they have to. once he turned 16, he immediately went to find a job [blockbuster]. his parents even made him pay rent.

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i think my dad is scared that in the future, if i do end up with him, that ill be the one feeding him

Jay told me that he will always work because one, he loves money, and two, would want to support me, and three, he would get too bored staying at home anyways. plus he's had hella jobs @.@.. lots of experience. i think he has had like 5 jobs now. he also told me last night that he wouldnt want me to super depend on him anyways because what if something bad happens. he says that this is one of the best qualities i have, that i have a good head on my shoulders.

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it just sucks that i cant really tell my dad certain things cause i think Jay wouldnt want me to since its his business.. and my dad doesnt really understand cause my dad thinks of things simple. he doesnt see the complexity of things. like how he thinks every parent should support their child no matter how old... but there are actually parents who just wouldnt because of certain reasons.