got the apartment!! woot woot!

the move in date is still the 26th unfortunately =/.. just a week and a half.

i should start packing?? or i dunno.. i dont think it would take that long. prolly just 2 days at the most. need to donate some of my clothes.. i have so much hw tho in between -____-.. i have 2 midterms next week.

should i ask my parents if i could take my mattress with me? cause we have 2 twin beds [bunk beds] that arent even used.. she can use that one.. cause we can use Jay's futon (bed he sleeps on) for the living room instead..

omgah.. im so hungry....

ive been eating a lot of meals lately... like yesterday, 4 times.. and the other day 5 times.. small portions of course.

so we turned in our stuff on sunday to the apartment. the lady says that i have good credit :] koo, good to know. sucks that it'll go lil lower if we get approved for the apartment =/..

hopefully we know by tomorrow... so excited! but still, we shouldnt expect too much ><

hopefully if we get it, hope we can move in less than 2 weeks! cause as of now, were scheduled to move in on the 26th, saturday..

i dont think i should hang out w/ Krys to go to sf this next coming weekend.. cause i should save money and pack.. plus i have midterms the following week after... why is everything happening at the same time!! D:

Jay is debating whether to save up for furniture first or car first....

i think we should save up for a futon/couch at least.. and then his car. i prolly would co-sign for him to get a car loan. but it would bring my credit score lower again -___-..poo

screw my english teacher!! lol jk.. but i dont think he likes me cause im quiet.. i volunteered to read a couple times tho!

man im a fatty today.. ate 4 times.. and im hungry again right now @.@

i wanna watch Battle: LA........ maybe go watch a movie one last time b4 saving like a freak

Jay and i are prolly going to make a joint account so we wont have to discuss how much were each paying. just pull it out of the account. transfer some large amount of money to the account every month.

someone noticed i got a lil skinnier yay! but im gaining it back! nooo! lol.. cause our gym pass ended already ><... we might switch to the guest pass at 24 hr fitness buahaha! lol

the first day we move in, were already gonna be spending a lot.. cause we would need to go grocery shopping for food and need knives/silverware [prolly steal from my mom haha], and other toiletries.

hungry!! rawr!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wa0WpKVAn3M

the cracks are just opening and closing continuously! D: its like the ground has a mind of its own! and water coming from the ground

im really excited about moving out!

sorry Hang that you couldnt move in w/ us.. :/.. really wanted you to also! Jay feels so bad that he said if you can/want, you can move into our 1bed apartment and sleep in the living room and we'll only charge you $100 for rent.

i think my parents have finally accepted that im moving out, yee!

what we need for the apartment:

coffee table
dining chairs
futon for living room
lamp for living room?

what we want:

better tv w/ better supporting tv stand
desk for me to do hw on

i searched on ikea website, and there are cheap furniture for those stuff :]

Jay already has some dishes, pots/pans, bed(futon), dining glass table
i'll prolly steal my mom's dishes/bowls cause she has too many -__-.. and also her silverware, chopsticks cause she has too many...

i need to pray that we'll get the apartment on sunday.. so then i can start packing.

im pretty sure that we will approve w/ our income mostly due to his income and my financial aid combined.. cause we gotta make at least $2237 a month total in order for us to be approved.. plus our credit scores... but thats what worries us the most.. i dunno if we need a co-signer and who would co-sign =/..

so yea our apartment would prolly look empty at first hehe, tis expected. i hope we will have at least a futon and chairs b4 my bday party.

i think ima make my bday thing on May 28,29... or June 4,5... cause May is sooo busy -____-..

working at church.. i think it will actually take me 6 hours to clean everything @.@.... oi.... cause Jay helped me today, and it took us 3 hours! D: .... and next week its just by myself!

were still debating on getting membership w/ ufc gym... cause it can be $20 bucks a month and can only attend 3-4 days a week.. which would make sense because you shouldnt work out every single day.. plus it would save more gas not going everyday lol.. we'll decide after we get an apartment and after the first month.

one of the apartment lady workers was like "haha he's so funny! where did you get him?? ebay??" and Jay says "no, craigslist" and i confirmed xD
and when we were talking to a wellsfargo lady, she told me [while he went away] that he should apply for wellsfargo because of the way he talks cause its very welcoming/social/friendly and then i told her i found him on craigslist.

sleepy..

ugh fafsa is sooo retarded.. seriously, if fafsa was a person, id sock the s*** out of it!!

for some reason it doesnt ask for my income.. and on the report, it says im missing that information! when i go correct it, its not even there for me to give the info! too bad its sunday and services arent available.. sigh.. and a lot of the time it goes to an error page... ugh!

i really hope this is fixed soon...

on top of that stress, Jay and i are desperate in finding a roommate.. well not overly desperate. cause were really worried when it comes to the point where both of us are going to college, will we be able to afford everything??? o.o..cause right now, in our current situation, we can afford it.. but not sure about later..

maybe we should wait a lil longer till we figure things out.

if you guys hear anyone trying to find a place to stay and is able to pay rent, let me know

v  Perception Validity: Learning to Respect Different Points of View

Ø  Arguing who’s right and who’s wrong is a waste of time if the goal is to create an intimate relationship

Ø  My intimate other is always right – I just may not agree, but he/she is not wrong.

Ø  The issue is not who is right or wrong

Ø  Put the effort into how to resolve the difference

Ø  If you are confident, you don’t need to convert your partner to your perception

Ø  Debating perceptions = emotional distance

- respect/care/love yourself first is so important! because if you dont for yourself, who else will? for example: i dont care about myself and only care what others want, makes them not care what i want. like..
him: *does w/e unintentional to make gf jealous*
her: *builds resentment but does not say anything, because fear of conflict and wants what doesnt upset him only* (not caring for self)
him: *awares that it doesnt get her jealous, therefore continuing to do so*

see?

and remember feeling and acting upon those feelings are different

- always telling how you feel is important.. even if its sad, anxious, mad, annoyed, frustrated, etc.
- consequences if you dont:
               Ø no one will acknowledge your feelings
               Ø resentment builds and will one day explode
               ØIt’s hard to be attracted, be intimate, love, sexually attracted to someone if you block your emotions, not telling them that you’re pissed off. It is possible to be not aware of your resentment, and will build up.

               Ø and theres no such thing as a negative emotion, because if you speak how you feel, it can be resolved. what can be negative is the action caused from the emotion

-never tell someone they shouldnt feel this way
               Ø "youre too emotional!" "youre too sensitive!"
               Ø its a fact they feel it! who gives you the right to tell them how they should feel?
               Ø judging their feelings in the wrong way will cause emotional distance
            

yay! Uriah is born :] i was holding him yesterday night, and omgah he is soooo small!!! i felt like i was going to accidentally snap him ><... so i was scared to put him back into his bed lol..

so yea.. the plan is set [i hope], that Jay and i are going to move out in a month. he said we need to look at apartments asap, but right now he needs to worry about moving out of his house to his parents, and then we can start looking.

sorry guys i was annoyed yesterday.. i was so hungry.. and right when i got to oodles of noodles you guys were already leaving without telling me first got me really irritated. and then i got more irritated cause when i met up with you guys at lmc brentwood, we didnt even have utensils -___-.. so i felt like i came there for nothing and had to drive all the way home ><.. and my brother getting on my case, i felt like he was attacking me -.-.. so i got even more pissed off. and then at home when i asked for a napkin, he freakin threw a roll right at me -.-.. if you guys werent there i think i would have punched him =/..

but anyways, im just sorry for my attitude. and it was fun catching up a lil bit

i so need to move out tho.. i have so much resentment towards everyone at home.. i snap too much at them, i need space. plus friends can come over anytime at apartment when im home since Jay doesnt want me to stay home alone.. and i dont wanna be alone either.... and yay! i can put my bday thing there :] i think ima make it pj themed since everyone keeps doing formal wear for theirs.

everyone in my family including my brother's friend Deejay doesnt want me to move out either. he says im still a baby and shouldnt move in w/ bf, says im rushing into things. i think its rushing into things if i get married o.o.. which i dont wanna do till im financially stable, including the bf. i mean, if things do go wrong, which i pray for it not to, itll be a learning experience at least.

if i stay at home, the resentment is just going to build higher and higher and im just going to snap left to right, from up and down, and diagonals lol

plus i will finally pack the clothes i dont wear anymore and donate them to goodwill (including ex's jacket).

and then my mom can have my room so she doesnt have to sleep on the couch anymore. couch is soo bad for her back =/..

anyways, starting 2nd job today -____-.. boo

cause last week we went to a christening.. so many babies!! and then today [or technically yesterday], Jay's sister's baby shower/bday.. w/ soooo many babies/toddlers around... omgah i was surrounded by adorableness!! lol. like this one super super cute baby has a mohawk! xD... i think when i get a baby boy, ima make him have a mohawk ^_^... and there was this chubby white baby girl.. sho chubbeh!!! lol.. and this newly born baby boy...

Jay keeps stealing all of them @.@.... he loves holding babies and playing w/ them. and then after, he gives them to me.. and im like "who's parent does this baby belong to? @.@..." and he asks me "can i keep him/her??" and tells the parent "goodluck getting this baby back " LOL....

the baby shower game was funny. i had to put a HUGE diaper on Jay w/o his help, and he has to race other guys with diapers on. i should have taken a picture >< the other game was to identify what kind of melted chocolate candy was on these 6 diapers. there were other games but i just watched.

Jay's mom is so hilarious. she loves to karaoke [typical filipino mom], and dance at the same time xD.. like, diva dance hahaha.

im glad that Jay's best friend Susanna came, cause i felt like, besides Jay, she's the only one i can connect w/ socially. im such an awkward person..

so this is me and Jay's plan:

1. Jay is going to get a car loan so he can finally get a car. prolly 2001 prelude.. around 5k

2. stay at a family friend's house, rent for $400.. he will see if i can live there too and what the expense would be

3. after a month or two, we'll go find an apartment together.. and we'll split the cost... hopefully find a roommate too

4. b4 next sem starts, Jay is going to have to have a part time job, prolly go back to a dietary aid. rely on that money and fafsa/eops support

5. Jay is going back to school for certificate for ptech.. see if he likes it, if he does, then he will go for AA.

i feel a great change coming :].. for the better!

*sings* its the start, of something new!

lol jk

[from couple days ago]

Roxanne had a white grandma, the really nice ones where they give you cookies or nice stuff. unfortunately it was her funeral, even tho she was still alive >.>.. she was just laying there, at a church, waiting for her time to come. we were holding her hand and all of a sudden, she closed her eyes and exhaled. so we were all like "nooo!.. ".. but after a couple of minutes, all of a sudden the grandma coughed. and we're all like o.O... wtf?.. and she was alive again! yay! and then something about basketball.. i dunno

[dream from last night]

i was having a get together at my house. the old gang was there [like including Penny, Trevor, Adrian, and others]. for some odd reason, Kevjumba, Nigahiga, and other youtube stars were there making a video in my backyard. they needed extras [ppl to act in] and this random chubby guy came and pointed at my brother. but this other guy was like "why dont we pick her!" *points at me* but i didnt get to be in it :/..

for some reason David and Evelyn [from my church] were there too. and David made a special meal for her. it was pork or something. and each piece of pork had love words/phrases on them o.O.. and Evelyn was so touched.

Jay was suppose to come over, but he fell asleep instead after he said he was coming -_-... so i got annoyed at him.

there were hecka nice cars on my drive way, and there were ppl who were trying to steal them.

i dont remember the rest.. maybe this white guy trying to come after me....... i dunno

i want to go to mt. diablo to play w/ the snow like last year

Jay told me his sister is proud of me because im still in school and have a job at the same time cause Jay is just working. his sister told him "i did not raise you to have a sugar mama" hahahaha! so finally Jay is going to work until fall semester starts. but at the same time she hates me only because i dont pay much taxes .. haha sucker

so he's gonna first purchase a car cause he doesnt want to rely on his dad's car cause it might break down on him and then he would get in trouble. he found a silver prelude, 1997 for $2800.

after that he's just gonna save more money, quit his job b4 fall sem starts, use that money for rent. and have fafsa and hopefully eops to help support him. he's asking me to push him, so i will

yay im so proud of him ^_^ and now my dad wont have to keep bugging me that he needs to go back to college. cause also my dad doesnt want me taking care of him too.

i told him a while ago about process technology and it sounds like thats something he can do. he says he will first go for the certificate [3 semesters long], see if he likes it, and if he does then he will strive for the AA degree.

so im getting a raise to $9 :] finally!!! lol.. cause we are HECKA short staff, Eva is recovering from surgery, 4 ppl quit within a year. so Chunni asked me to work w/ other stuff, like enter in data, change data, etc.. training starts monday. but i increased my hours now to 16 hours a week instead of 14. and thats exluding half an hour lunch..

mondays im working 10AM-5PM.. and wednesdays im working 9AM-5PM.. and thursdays the same from 3-5PM..

and starting next week, im gonna work at the church and get paid $420 a month. so.... if i calculate this right, each month ill get around $996 a month [excluding tax].. woot woot!

omgah... yesterday i hecka pushed myself at the gym.. ran the whole time for one mile, did some ab workouts, did 5 sets of 10 of working out my legs/butt, did more ab workout, walked w/ level 10 incline for a mile. when i got home, i was soooooo exhausted and sleepy so Jay left early for me to sleep hehe.

Jay freakin lifted 390 lbs total w/ his legs/butt!! i dunno what the machine is called.

im still pretty tired.. and very sore almost everywhere.. i think ima just do cardio and hit the sauna today.