March 4, 2011

• yay! Uriah is born :] i was holding him yesterday night, and omgah he is soooo small!!! i felt like i was going to accidentally snap him ><... so i was scared to put him back into his bed lol..

  so yea.. the plan is set [i hope], that Jay and i are going to move out in a month. he said we need to look at apartments asap, but right now he needs to worry about moving out of his house to his parents, and then we can start looking.

  sorry guys i was annoyed yesterday.. i was so hungry.. and right when i got to oodles of noodles you guys were already leaving without telling me first got me really irritated. and then i got more irritated cause when i met up with you guys at lmc brentwood, we didnt even have utensils -___-.. so i felt like i came there for nothing and had to drive all the way home ><.. and my brother getting on my case, i felt like he was attacking me -.-.. so i got even more pissed off. and then at home when i asked for a napkin, he freakin threw a roll right at me -.-.. if you guys werent there i think i would have punched him =/..

  but anyways, im just sorry for my attitude. and it was fun catching up a lil bit

  i so need to move out tho.. i have so much resentment towards everyone at home.. i snap too much at them, i need space. plus friends can come over anytime at apartment when im home since Jay doesnt want me to stay home alone.. and i dont wanna be alone either.... and yay! i can put my bday thing there :] i think ima make it pj themed since everyone keeps doing formal wear for theirs.

  everyone in my family including my brother's friend Deejay doesnt want me to move out either. he says im still a baby and shouldnt move in w/ bf, says im rushing into things. i think its rushing into things if i get married o.o.. which i dont wanna do till im financially stable, including the bf. i mean, if things do go wrong, which i pray for it not to, itll be a learning experience at least.

  if i stay at home, the resentment is just going to build higher and higher and im just going to snap left to right, from up and down, and diagonals lol

  plus i will finally pack the clothes i dont wear anymore and donate them to goodwill (including ex's jacket).

  and then my mom can have my room so she doesnt have to sleep on the couch anymore. couch is soo bad for her back =/..

  anyways, starting 2nd job today -____-.. boo

  • 1:43 pm
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