i feel like ive watched enough asian dramas that all the dramas are soooo.... predictable and... boring now -____-.. 

i made the best sandwich today

Hang gave me a sore throat.. lol.. but its going away with wearing a scarf, lemon tea, and blankies. i need honey.

anyways, this is for Hang. i got too lazy to text them cause it takes me a long time lol..

one of my friends on FB has a lot of good phrases or things to say. i enjoy reading her posts.

this is what i sent Hang already:

"life is meant to be lived with people who matter in your life. move on from the past and make a new future. dont second guess who matters, you already know!"

"for a better 2012: always know when to let go. when a thought is bringing you more misery than peace, let go of the thought; when a person is bringing you more pain than joy to your life, let go... you cannot be your best if you lack joy and peace"

"life is too short to spend time with people who suck the happiness out of you"

"if you carry the old bricks from your past relationshiop to your new one, you will build the same house that fell apart before" [this one my favorite]

"at some point you have to realize that some people can stay in your heart but not  in your life"

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and here are some more of the ones i like:

"Never force yourself to have a space in anyone's life because if they really know your worth, they'll surely create one for you"

"Sometimes you have to forget how you feel and remember what you deserve"

"Happiness is not the absence of problems but the ability to deal with them."

"A new year is God's way of saying: No matter where you've been or what you've been through, you can always start fresh."

"New Year's is all about: getting another chance. A chance to forgive, to do better, to do more, to give more, to love more. And stop worrying about 'what if' and start embracing what would be."

"Whatever happened over this past year, be thankful for where it brought you. Where you are now is where you're meant to be..."

"Happiness keeps you sweet. Trials keep you strong. Sorrows keep you human. Failures keep you humble. And God, keeps you going....."

"Sometimes people put up walls, not to keep others out, but to see who cares enough to break them down."

"If you're still single that's because GOD is not ready to share you..."

"Sometimes we can't choose the music life gives us - but we damn sure can choose how we dance..."

"Don't wait for the right person to come into ur life. Make yourself be the right person to walk into someone's life......."

"God answers in 3 ways: he says yes & gives you what you want, he says no & gives you something better, or he says wait & gives you the best."

"Sometimes the problem is me. And even if that isn't the entire truth, it's still the best place to start."

‎"Don't mistake my silence for ignorance; don't mistake my calmness for acceptance. And most of all, don't mistake my kindness for weakness."

"You have to take the good with the bad, smile when you're sad, love what you've got and remember what you had. Always forgive but never forget, learn from your mistakes but never regret, people change, things go wrong, just remember, life goes on."

which one is the best you like? 

hmm.. to watch an asian drama or to just do chores...

its sooo cold!! i dont want to do anything but cuddle with my blankies! lol

Jay and i just got the new MyTouch 4G slide. it looks exactly the same as our old phones, except with the keyboard. we only paid for shipping which was 5 bucks each. and the camera is the same as the galaxy S II. 8 MP. our old phones had 5 MP. it just sucks i have to redownload all my apps -____-.. we exchanged phones cause our old ones kept tweekin on us.

i feel sorry for one of Jay's friends cause he was married but the girl cheated on him [caught in the act].. he's about 27 yrs old. he asked Jay if i had any friends/cousins that he could hook him up with. but Jay said "her cousins are old, some are on the other side of the world, either taken, far away at school, or have issues" xD... and his friend said "its ok if they have issues".. and Jay replies "...no" hahaha 

and "issues" he doesnt mean in a negative way. hope you know what i mean. 

Jay says hes a really good guy too. he's a hair stylist who wants to open his own barber shop. he's pretty good too, he cut both Jay's hair and my hair. well i only got a trim. and he's not bad lookin and he's not gay. <--haha

but he seems kinda desperate now.. lol it sounds like im advertising him xD

anyways..

when our new phones came today, i was in my PJ's and my shirt was kinda low.. so my bra was kinda showing....... and i didnt notice when i received the packages from the delivery man.. hahaha.... ><.... 

im spose to clean up the apartment and clean/organize my desk today... but the cold is making me lazy.. 

i want to go clubbing

so im having that christmas party tomorrow [or later tnight]

and it kinda annoys me that few/some of the ppl who i invited, told others about it  -____-.. i mean, its ok if they are bringing them to the party and LETTING ME KNOW if they are bringing the person.

i only invited those who im either close with or friends i have talked to recently and those who KIT. 

yay!!! Jay and i prayed together. it was interesting and i really liked it. but im horrible in saying what i want to say....... so i prefer him to say it. he says it so smoothly.. and im so... studdery haha

im sooooo bad ><.... i had Hang syndrome today.... i bought myself a gift for passing my classes..... its boots. omgah you guys should see it! its amazing! i wanted to buy the brown/tan looking ones cause those were more amazing [especially since it would match my p-coat]... and also bought casual shoes. and im totally broke! D:

but.. i havent been to the mall in soooooooooooooooooooooooooo long! i was like..... whoa.. lol. so many changes..

i only have like... maybe around 500 dollars now [after paying rent for next month] eeeekkkkk!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

whered all my money go???? [besides the boots xD]...... mostly from buying groceries and take out...... u_u...... 

and then some for christmas decorations recently.... <.<;;.... 

but good thing Jay starts work on tuesday. im really happy.

God is so good :]

my body feels weird

im surprised im not sick yet...

one more day to go.. 

i need a break..

stuff on my mind.

my teacher Ms. Marshall is soo weird.... when she tests on stuff, its usually easy questions if you know it/read about it. or when it comes to check offs, and they test us doing a task, she is really easy and will give you almost a 100%....... but when it comes to lecturing, she is angry... lol... 

like last week, she was like "please close the door!.. i do not appreciate ppl coming in late. its too distracting!.. just for further notice, if you are 10 minutes late, please wait in the hallway until next break"...

today.. she was like "close the door, i dont want students coming in 5 mins after"..... o.O... but last week she said 10... and it wasnt even 5 minutes when she said to close the door, it was 4 mins at the time lol. technicalities... hehe

and she never answers questions well -__-.. today was a first when she answered someone's question with, "just think about it" hahahaha... really!?.. xD... but sometimes im like.. OMGAH shut up to the students, just look in the dang book! dont ask questions to our instructor cause she'll answer confusingly anyways! and its time wasting! jeebus! 

anyways, im falling asleep during reading even tho i already had one cup of coffee -____-...

skipping clinicals tomorrow teehee.. we get 2 absences at the most and im finally using it. 

cant wait for the semester to be over! but i really hope i pass.. 

staying up late studying again.. 

i think i should avoid cheese now... i got really upset stomach like.. 4 times one day.. and all the meals i had that day had cheese in it... lol!

man im getting chubbier xD.. but its like.. i dont care at the moment.. 

goal for the break:

-clean my desk

-clean the apartment

-think of some cheap gifts to give ppl cause im broke

-exercise everyday when school is out

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stress is booboo -___-.. feel like things are still falling apart.. 

cause i might lose my job

cause im afraid of failing the program and disappointing ppl

cause jay is also stressed out, and whenever i ask him to apply to more places, he gets irritated cause he has already.. but i feel like he could do more..

cause im running a lil low on cash now

cause i feel slow compared to others in class

cause im letting jay smoke again but not a lot. i could one day tell him to quit and he would do it instantly.

...i hope things turn around, and soon. 

lol Jay and i dreamed really similar things.. freaky.

well.. Jay is really stressed.. and yesterday night, he told me the truth, that he still craves smoking [which i already knew], but he wishes that i would be more lenient and let him smoke when he is super stressed, especially when im pushing him to find a job and go to school and cook and clean all at once.. ><.. i told him that if he gets a good job, i would quit my job, so he can support me, and i would have more time to clean and cook for him. 

im thinking of actually considering letting him smoke.. even tho i hate it.. but ONLY for relieving stress. not when he is partying/socializing/drinking.. and i really dont want to smell it when he comes near me ><.. he also mentioned that he doesnt hang out with his friends much anymore cause all they do is smoke and if he hangs out with them, it'll make him want to smoke even more. :/..

but anyways..

i had a dream that since i let him smoke again, i decided to try it. and when i tried it, i felt really good, like.. totally relaxed. lol!

he dreamed that i smoked in front of him, like taunting him, even tho he couldnt smoke... hahaha.

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on the bright side, i was talking to one of Jay's brother in law's friend, Ryan. he told me that this eco performance builders company or w/e that is hiring for ppl who can make attics more eco friendly. so i got the information about it and gonna encourage Jay to contact them. 

sooooooo.... ive been studying aaalllllllllllllllllll week... only to get a failing grade on my test yesterday :/... u_u.. i literally memorized ALL of my lecture notes. i skimmed thru the book/chapters to make sure i didnt know any vocabs or sections that the teacher didnt cover......

what i DIDNT cover are the little itsy bitsy details that were in the book/chapters, that the teacher went over what the subject was mainly about... but the teacher didnt go over the itsy bitsy details... sigh... 

luckily im still passing in this class.... bad news is that im on borderline passing... -____-...

so i cried most of the night b4 i slept [after i got home].. i think that was the first time Jay saw me cry. when i woke up today, i had a semi-swollen eye lol..

i was sooo drained yesterday, i didnt even study. i didnt do my prep sheets that are due every week [altho they arent graded, its only for practice]

i really wanted to skip thanksgiving tomorrow. but Jay's sister told me she has a room for me to study in her house after dinner... so now i HAVE to go.. LOL!... im thankful tho hah

i want Hang to go. Jay's sister says she can come. but its up to her. ill see if i can convince her.

today, Melinda [the teacher that everyone complains about], didnt show up today O.o... so lecture was cancelled... dun dun DUN!.. i also heard that she didnt show up to clinicals last week for County Medical Center... so my classmates who go there, went home those days. i wonder if she just quit on the spot o.o.... then what are we doing to do for the other lectures that she is spose to lecture???

i think im gaining some tolerance to coffee >< cause i drank half my mug of coffee so far.. and i fell asleep couple of times.. so then i took a nap, and i fell asleep fast i think.. i was still sleepy afterwards. usually after a few sips of coffee, it works for me and im wide awake.

i guess i should drink some more ;D lol.. or maybe Jay's snoring right now is stimulating me to be sleepy ><

i didnt know b4 that coffee can be treated like an analgesic [pain reliever] like for headaches.

i had this weird, disturbing dream! not scary, just disturbing. 

that we were all at Anielle's apartment that was downstairs having a party w/ bunch of ppl, even ppl i didnt know that might have been our friend's friends. and we were all so loud and neighbors complaining.. and then Anielle's dad called her and told her and her sister to go outside. so they did so. then later, 8 performers [4 women and 4 men] came in the room.. and started stripping some clothing and doing the nasty on the table.. and we were like "whoa!! wth!?" and others were like "yeah!! woohoo!"... but then next scene: 8 ppl died, and it wasnt the performers.

and the dead bodies were so vivid in my dream! 

when i woke up, i felt so.. disturbed :/.. but it was like an intro of CSI or somethin lol. like... who REALLY killed those 8 ppl? were they my friends? friend's of friends? o.O

anyways... today in clinical.. omgah this guy pooped sooooooo much in the bedpan! D: ... but i didnt clean it cause it wasnt my patient. 

this other lady was telling me "i want to go home! get the ambulance to take me home now! or else im going to drag my self out into the concrete and get hit by a car so i can die!!"...... i tried my best to calm her down and do therapeutic communication.. but it was difficult lol.. but its funny cause later, when my classmate and i helped her back in bed from the side chair, she was very appreciative. o.O.... lol. maybe some mental disorder.