this is going to be a long blog. but at least read half? lol

i recently came back from church and the topic today was NOT homosexuality, it was actually 2 weeks ago.. LOL, i was preoccupied because Uly was back... but i finally remembered to look up the sermon on Edge Water Covenant Church's website today. I'm glad they record their sermons . 

I really really really admire this church! out of AALLLL the churches ive been to, i like this one the best. 

ive been to.. East Bay Formosan United Methodist Church (EBFUMC), First Baptist, Cornerstone Christian Center, Golden Hills, (this one church i dont remember the name but Jocelyn Wu went there), Christian Renewal Ministry, and now Edge Water Covenant. 

anyways! i wanted to share this sermon with you guys since this is a big controversial topic in general. but i want you to know a true Christian's perspective of this topic. and i agree a 100% of what the pastor (John) said about this. 

now, this does not mean you have to believe in what we believe and you are entitled to your own opinion of course. being Christian, we believe that everything is a CHOICE and should NEVER be forced into going to church and that everything you do for God comes from your heart and not from a parent forcing you to do it or peer pressure. 

anyways,

before i really start, i want to point out that in the Bible, ALL sins are the same. whether it be adultery.. lying... murder... stealing... lusting... premarital sex... greed...etc., there is no lesser or more degree between them. "for the wage of sin is death." (which is why i repent through prayer every day so that God can forgive me). 

ok so... homosexuality is a sin, but so is those listed previously and is still at the same degree. 

for those who judges the gays or lesbians are hyprocrites, because they, too, have sinned. God is the only one who judges.. and those who judges gays or lesbians are actually condemning themselves! God basically says, "dont judge.. because you are a sinner too. to the degree you are judging others, you are judging yourselves"

Pastor John mentioned that he is so disappointed in how a lot of pastors or other leaders are putting it out there saying "oh my gosh! look how our society is becoming!!!" emphasizing on homosexuality.

God loved the world not because we were perfect, but because we were messed up. 

Jesus actually spent more time with sinners than those who knew him. 

Jesus tells us parables, one being about a shepherd who lost one of his sheeps. and this shepherd, even though he had many sheeps, went out to look for this ONE sheep because it mattered to him and that it was WORTH it.

Pastor John also mentioned about the argument, "what about polygamy? it was in the Bible, so why is homosexuality bad?" and he gave a valid point about HOW it was mentioned and what were God's intentions.. but its so long to write out lol.. ><.. but when it comes to Christian leadership and the church, it must be one man and one woman. 

anyways.. Jesus did talk about homosexuality but not as direct as ppl wanted. "a man will leave his father and mother and be united with his wife, and the two will become one flesh." Ephesians 5:31. and when Jesus talked about marriage, it was very clear that he stated one man and one woman. 

when it comes to those who sin, respond with humility and respond with Jesus.

Pastor John also mentioned that you cant win peoples hearts by law. when religious leaders made law with God in mind, people realized they could not follow them due to how strict and sterile and mean the laws were and therefore people were turning away from God. but when Jesus came, he came to restore the God founded country and Jesus never addressed the laws and never spoke to roman officials, but spoke to religious people to form churches and give the good news. and the sinners (prostitutes, gays, lesbians, adulterers, liars, murderers, etc) wanted to be around Jesus. 

if Jesus were here today, he would be hanging out and eating dinner with the gays and lesbians. and many religious leaders would say, "Jesus what are you doing? don't you know who they are?" and Jesus would say, "yes, and they are important to me"

so.... can gay/lesbian friends/families come to church and still worship God? should we hug and love them and welcome them to church?

answer: yes!

(these were the main points i wanted to mention from the sermon. thanks if you read all of it)

so... love and accept everyone

so i havent posted in a while..

im a lil irritated at the moment.. 

bcus one of my classmates took credit for something i did.. but... w/e! i cant be mad at her bcus she's actually very nice and bubbly.. i think she just was caught up in the moment or something. 

today's clinicals was very chill. my nurse was super nice and teachie. our clinical instructor is very chill too.

i really wish i can move out of here... each time i see Jay texting someone, i get super jealous.. and think automatically he is texting her.. it just kills me inside and i feel like i have no where to run.. bcus in this situation, i would usually ignore Jay and try to keep my mind off it... but once i ignore him, he would start complaining that i dont appreciate him for the things that he does for me.. but i do appreciate him when he does favors for me.. i would say 'thank you' but i guess its not enough.. 

i wonder if i just clean the apartment more often and do the dishes and fold the laundry on time and just solely do w/e he asks me to do if he does, would he still complain?

can i really continue to live like this for one more year? i dont want to move back to antioch yet bcus of all the traffic >.<.. 

will i go insane?

go into depression?

....im on my period right now so maybe im just over thinking. i ate hecka fat today @_@... cake and cookie... but it was only a small piece of cake.. and only one cookie. lol

sorry if ive been a b*tch lately maybe due to the pmsing.. 

sad.. i lost my drivers license..

i just havent had the best of luck these past few months. 

just imagine if i wasnt a passive person lol..

im soooooo itchy!! uugghhhh!!!!!!

im getting more and more bites each today... or bumps... w/e it is!!! @.@..... couple ppl says that its prolly a stress problem that caused it.. i dunno..

today was a spontaneous day for me. 

hung out with Justine. picked her up around 1ish and we went to Chili's and i paid for both of us. we caught up with stuff :].. then we went to walmart cause i had to buy some things... then went to cvs to buy benedryl... then i took her home.

hung out next with Hang: just chatted while she panicked about where she put her work shirt and sewing her pants until she had to leave for work around 4:15ish?

hung out next with Rox: omgah!! so ironic! out of everyone, she picked up and said i can come over!!! well.. to her sister's lol. i helped cut carrots and make lumpia and put frosting on the cupcakes. met a few new ppl.

hung out next with Geron: i went to her house and we chilled in her room and caught up. she felt like "whoa! connie came to hang out with me?? o.O" haha cause i dont usually hang out with her alone. 

now im home..... i hunger...

friday:

got my car smogged and passed :]

did laundry (still need to put away tho..)

ran/jogged/power walked 2 miles

helped my bro wash his car and my car (i even vacuumed inside my car)

ate with my bro at apple bees

saturday:

vented to Mitul and Philip and then they decided to kidnap me

we went to the park behind contra loma (off of James Donlon) cause the guys were going to play soccer (Jaime was there and with other guys). Michelle Lee was there :] but she didnt play. she sat out with Matt and Brad (Philip's best friend).

as they played soccer, i went on a jog/power walk around contra loma reservoir by myself. some ppl say its 3 miles all around... but i thought it was about 2 miles.. o.O

then Mitul and i went to my place, i showered and got ready, and Mitul dropped me off to the Meet & Greet for the new RNs class of 2014 at Skipolini's Pizza. i was surprised only 11 new students showed up @.@... well considering only 24 got accepted.. i was planning to buy my own pizza so that i can contribute to my RN class (a certain percentage gets donated to our pinning ceremony). but all my mommy classmates gave me their pizza lol. 

after, Mitul picked me up and we went to Sac. met his half sister that he never met b4. shes pretty cool and chill, also her bf is too. we went to Olive Garden and i had soup and salad. Mitul is on a diet now too. 

then afterwards, we all hung out at Mitul's apartment. 

then we went to drop off his sister and bf back to where we picked them up. and then we went back towards Antioch.

called up Rodi, Jesse, Rox, Matt, Manny to go star gazing with us. it was already 11pm. but Rox and Manny couldnt come lol. but everyone else, we went to Mel's Diner.. and Matt was too tired to go star gazing so he went home. 

star gazed. i fell asleep in the car while Rodi was talking to me lol. went home around 2:30am.

sunday:

church. learned that if you have God's word then He will give you more than what you have. if you do not have His word, then what you have will be taken from you. you can relate this to "karma" i guess. 

Rodi came with me to walmart and i bought caladryl (pink lotion that has anti-itch property and has benedryl in it). i also bought some lil flowers for a good price!

went to wendys to meet up with Ronnie and Britt and some church members. then Ronnie, Britt, Rodi, and i went to the Antioch cemetery to visit Jason cleopas (Satoshi). its his bday today! so thats why i wanted to visit him and got flowers. lol we had such a difficult time finding where he was ><;;...

then went to Ronnie and Rodi's house. i proof read Rodi's essay. then went home. 

i was spose to hang out with Mitul but i feel like he wants it to be only a guy thing today... plus he hasnt told me when he wanted to hang out. oh well lol. 

just came back from a mile run w/ Jay. 

i think i wanna clean the apartment.... so messy ><

so... my cousin has a music video.

shes sooooooo chinky hahaha!! 

my auntie is sooooo against her daughte's choice of doing music. but my auntie makes it sound like shes a brat... which... im not surprised to hear. lol.. cause my cousin told her mom "if i dont do music im going to kill myself!!" 

finally finished rooftop prince!! i totally cried last two episodes T^T.... why does Park/Bak Ha have to be so nice and stupid! lol and just keeps things to herself!

stupid dramas!!!....

Mitul convinced me to watch Love Rain next lol!

my classmate Emily told me to watch A Gentleman's Dignity

anyways.. gnight

found out that 3 weeks away from internet doesnt really make much a difference lol.. 

i need to get my nails done.. the nail polish is so cracked and chipped!

Jay's mom wants to go with me when i get my car smogged (since she has a coupon).. but i bet shes going to ask me a lot of questions about the break up @.@... ugh... and it sucks cause i cant tell her the true reasons.. only in general like.. "he did something that made me upset and in the end i chose we be just friends".. cause they dont know he smokes ><... and if i said he lied to me about something.. she will prolly keep asking what was it.. but i cant say ><.... she is a very nosey woman

i think Jay's friend is trying to get at me.. the one who cuts our hair.. that i mentioned b4 is good looking and his wife had an affair and i feel sorry for him.. who b4 asked Jay if i had any friends who were single lol....... ill tell you guys in person the details (already told Uly)

i want to exercise... and hang out with friends... but no one is around!! Anielle isnt answering.. Hang is in socal.. Uly/Krys/Adrian/Mitul/Philip/JanJan are very far/out of town.. Rodi isnt answering either and i dont know if she would work out.. 

i need to make more friends lol

well i have few of my nursing classmates... but theyre kinda far too... like in concord/walnut creek area.. Iliana lives in Antioch but she works out at InShape but i cant afford membership or to keep paying 10 bucks to get in :/.. 

anyways... i had a nice dream last night! it was with Victor Kim.. ugh so drop dead gorgeous man! hahaha!! it was nothing sexual tho. it was just us talking and dating  

my celebrity husbands so far:

victor kim

lee hong ki

yunho

top

joseph gordon-levitt (lol the only white guy and everyone else is korean xD)

im doing this vegan thing [with more limitations] for 3 weeks... its hard!! :S..

i cant even eat veggie burgers because it has yeast extract :/....

blah!!! craving soooo bad!

but ive been praying and reading the Bible and God is giving me strength :]

made my first vegetarian dish! Hang should be proud of me lol!! the only thing that Hang wouldnt like in the dish is the mushroom xD.. i think thats it..

ingredients i used:

-potatoes

-onions

-garlic

-cilantro

-garlic salt

-lemon pepper

-ground pepper

-tofu

-this one seasoning spice that didnt taste like anything and i wasted 2 bucks on it!! 

-vinegar

-soy sauce

to me it tastes good :]