i guess i slept too long today.. i feel sooo groggy! 

but nothing like a cup of good coffee wont fix!!

it reminds me of the cartoon show, Dexter's Laboratory when him and DeeDee discovered the magic of coffee from their parents lol

need to start hw ><..

i started a new kdrama yesterday. romantic comedy of course lol.. called Rooftop Prince. it has Mickey from DBSK in it. its basically about this prince, trying to find out who killed the girl he loved/crowned princess. he gets chased by assassins and suddenly gets teleported some how w/ his entourage 300 years later (looks longer than that cause everything looks modern)... and meets the crown princess's little sister (modern version sister), but actually doesnt know its her because 300 years ago, the little sister had a mask on to hide her scar. in the modern world, the prince saw the modern version of his crowned princess and is confused and shocked. 

the first episode covered so much lol.. and some drama between the sisters. 

im wondering if in the past, the crowned princess was killed by her little sister.. 

the crowned princess seemed ok/nice-ish... but the present day one, she's such a b*tch lol. 

i dont know how our money goes thru the drain @.@.... its probably from eating out ><... cus even at school i buy, at the hospital i buy food too... at least its cheaper than kaiser!!! lol. and plus Jay's check are being garnished... sigh

i think its time to just bring my food... hmm... 

probably going to take on two jobs over the summer..

 

whew! this morning, i was thinking, "omgah.. did i pay my walmart credit card bill yet???" and when i went online, it was due today lol! so got that taken care of

man.. i havent lost any pounds :/... oh well. i havent been exercising a whole lot and drinking enough water. plus my diet isnt very good lol

i had a koo dream last night.. it was very graphic too.. im trying to remember the correct order of events lol...

so i think it went like this

some of our friends got Godly powers. we had a party and it was guestlist only. for some reason the guestlist was in chinese.. and i was looking for my name, but someone forgot to put it on there -____-"... so i was stuck outside and in front of ppl who i didnt know, and i just cut them off, laying on the floor for some reason hoping my friends would see me. eventually they did and i came in complaining. but as i was walking in, the ppl behind me tried to come in. but my friends and i wouldnt let them and used our powers to flee them away lol... we're so mean.. 

but stupidly, we blew our cover and so the police/govt were after us. 

then... later.. 2 of my friends and i were at a roof top with a basketball court. and since we had powers, we would make the ball go in the hoop successfully no matter where we were on the court. but all of a sudden, i felt my powers fade.. i wasnt sure if my other friends had the same feeling. but then we heard sirens and we started running. 

it was night time and we jumped over the fence and rolled down the hill with no injury. we hopped into our own cars. somehow i turned into a guy.. and im driving down highway 4 towards concord/walnut creek. my 2 friends went to highway 242 and i got distracted looking at something that was on my lap.. i dont remember what it was... a list of phone numbers?.. my phone?... my guts?... LOL... anyways.. so i was still on highway 4.

next thing i know, traffic jam! i tried to stop immediately and tried to use my powers to get out of the way, but my powers were suddenly gone and i jammed right into cars. it was weird cause all the cars were facing northeast, and once i hit them, i was facing that way too. then all of a sudden, this big police looking snow plow came and started moving the cars out of the way.. even tho it was killing ppl.. and suddenly a dead girl hit my wind shield.. all bloody.

i think one of my friends were there and still had their powers. and threw a punch into the ground for some reason and all of a sudden the earth split in half. my friend didnt know he/she was capable of doing that. and while i was in the car, i saw the world split in two and one side of the ground moving upwards, seeing what was underneath the pavements and now broken pipes and everything. it was amazing. but eventually, i guess my friend put the earth back together.

later, i got out [still being someone else] and hitched a ride. we went to this old house that i use to live in. it looked so different. i went inside and i only saw a boy standing there. he looked about 7 years old. i asked him in chinese who he was and where was my family. he ran to his mom who suddenly appeared. she looked miserable. i asked her what happened to my family and listed their names. she looked at me in a weird look saying that they all died. and i wept.

i later followed them and saw an outside fountain, it was humongous, but it was inside the house. it was on top of a pond. it also had many stones that you could jump on, some further from others. and suddenly the mom and the son were on top of the fountain. i tried to get to them, and the boy started laughing knowing i couldnt do it. so i started training with them, and they had workers with them as well, but the mom called the workers her children. and later i became part of their "family"

and i dont remember the rest. lol

the end!

my patient from yesterday

newly admitted to the hospital

i woke her up so i can do an assessment on her. she was about 84 years old

she looked at me and the first thing she said was, "oh so beautiful!"

hehe

and everytime i came back and woke her, she goes, "oh its that cute face again "

she has impaired hearing so it was difficult to talk to her ><

but she was sooo cute! id love her as a grandma lol

and when my clinical substitute instructor, shelly, came, my patient said, "oh, so many pretty people.." and touched my instructor's arm.

shes so adorable!

so i was talking to my classmate about adoption, and i guess Jay already knew about it too.

that its such a hard process to go thru.

first off, you have to be making more than $90,000 [including w/ your spouse]... seriously!? i was raised on 20,000ish income and im fine.. LOL

and you CANNOT have any bad medical history. like if you have cancer.

and even say, you had breast cancer, you got that lump removed and you are fine and its been years since that happened, the adoption agency will not approve you and you can never adopt a child. 

and the irony is, that these kids/babies needs a home! and theres bunch of them, and we are paying tax dollars to the govt for them, when ppl want to adopt, but cant because of their policies or w/e.

so.. basically, the govt is using the poor kids/babies to get money. 

lame

im soooo lazy to do hw/study -_____-

i just need to read 13 boring pages... and then study for one chapter. 

but im too busy thinking about what i should do for my bday event coming up. im thinking of doing it on May 25th.

tomorrow Jay's friend Jeff is gonna pick me up and give me a free haircut, cus his instructor, or who ever, needs to see him cut long hair. i dont know him very well... so hope no awkward silences lol.. or maybe i should just keep talking and blabber on like i do with you guys .. im always afraid that im talking wayyyyyy too much tho sometimes where someone might be thinking "omgah does she ever shut up?" lol!... i should stop thinking of what other ppl think. anyways.. 

yesterday, Jay told me to buy a rubber mallet while i was coming home from Anielle's place. so i went to walmart. and i was holding this mallet... i was wondering if ppl were gonna look at me weird. i put the mallet on the conveyor belt. and this hispanic woman just looked at it, picked it up, and said something in spanish to her husband, and put it back down. i just smiled at them, but thinking... what is she doing?? lol.. and her husband said "oo shes going to hit me!".. and i said "oh no, this is for my bf.. you know... *punches my hand*" xD

omgah its sooooooooooo hard to gulp a vitamin pill down for me @.@........

i wish they made women vitamin gummies..

i choked on the vitamin pill like... 4times now... >< and it says to take it twice a day

on the 2nd or 3rd day of taking it, i started breaking it in half and swallowing the pill... but just now, i choked on it @.@.... so i used a knife and i cut it even smaller to a fourth of its size.... much better!

whats funny is that the metabolize booster gel cap is a lil bigger than the vitamin pill... but i can swallow that one so long i plug my nose.. i can gulp it easier since the outer layer is smooth

im still tearing from choking on the pill -____-

anyways... i bought oil pastels! i want to color/draw with them c:

i also bought a blue and purple eye liner. i like the blue.. the purple is kinda hard to see and it looks more lavender... or pinkish

i dont have my contacts on right now and i cant read what im typing lol

ive been home all day until Jay came home and we went to walmart. and i was soo excited to just leave the house lol.. im so sad haha. 

i was like, "yay!! walmart!!! " and Jay is like.. "o.O...... aaawww.. *pets me*"

-_-"... lol... 

i did two chapters of Jay's history hw -___-.. cause he's so lazy to do it and asked me if i could while he goes to work. i dont want to do his last one cause its freakin 55 questions long... its super easy tho, even a middle schooler can do it. you just skim the book and look for the key words. 

im never motivated to do my "to do list" until ive actually written it down on a board or paper or on the laptop.. or else i seriously wont start anything and will feel lost.... im worried when ill become a nurse.. :/

anyways, good night yo..

im sooooooooooo happy to blog right now cause i feel like i havent in a lil while. 

i dont have to read/study today yay!!!!!

right now i dont know where to start.... everything is jumping into a knot in my head... anyways.. 

ill start with yesterday.

i was soooooooooooooooooooooooooo tired when i got home.. i was having a hard time prepping at Kaiser cause my account was invalid so i couldnt log on the computers!! so i had to use Audrey [classmate]'s account. it took me 3 hours at the hospital when it normally takes me around 2 hours. 

when i got home, i just wanted to sleep.. but i got hungry... lol... after eating i just wanted to fall asleep.. but i had to prepare for the next day =_=... 

eventually i said to myself, "forget it! i dont care if im not done! its going to take forever! im just going to try to sleep!! i dont care if Adriene complains!"

then Anielle calls and asks if she can hang around until she has to get her sister haha. i said ok but that i might fall asleep on her. i couldnt fall asleep anyways cause of my disturbed sleep cycle sigh... plus i wanted to chill with Anielle xP

she brought strawberries and chips :9

anyways.. after she left, i tried to just go to bed.. but i couldnt sleep!! i kept tossing and turning.... it was 11pm.. and then i just got up and layed on the couch with Jay.

Jay got annoyed at me cause i was, i guess, "taking up all the space" on the couch... -_-"....he says, "sigh.. im uncomfortable"... and he expects me to do something about it. so eventually he just gets up and irons his scrubs and goes to bed, and so i just followed. 

he throws a fit as he gets ready for bed and says, "i cant f*cking relax!"

me: is it cause of me??

Jay: [pauses]... no

me:...... ok so it is me.

Jay: [doesnt say anything and goes to bed with me]

in my head im like, "omgah.. w/e! you CAN relax! you just choose not to! if im in your way, effing just tell me to move! ill move! cant you just freakin TELL me what you want! instead having expectations of me??... cause im thinking.. 'so what if youre uncomfortable? get yourself comfortable then!'.. 

cause now im thinking whenever he says he's uncomfortable, its because of me.. so i should just leave the room and leave him alone. 

eventually, as im faced away from him on my side.. giving him the energy that im upset even tho i didnt say anything or do anything afterwards, he hugs me and kisses me gnight. which made me happier, but i was still annoyed. im still annoyed NOW and im kinda glad he's at work until late so we can have some space and i can cool off. 

gosh... the married life!... xD 

...................................................

the next thing i wanted to mention was..

today started out bad.. but end of clinicals it was good.

i woke up, heard a LOT of rain and wind outside... or just heavy rain... i did NOT wanna go to clinicals...

i forgot to print out my medication sheet that i worked on

i accidentally took the longer way to Kaiser

the car turned off while i was driving out of the apartment and stalled as i was turning sometime later

everyone else was sleep deprived so at least i wasnt the only one unable to think lol. 

but i learned a lot today from Adriene w/ her stories and she was lenient w/ us today thank God! and both my nurses were sooooo nice! :]

....................................................

one last thing..

Jay and i bought these supplements recommended by his sister. one is a metabolism booster, this iced tea flavored drink that turns long chained fatty acids into energy, and i also got a multivitamin for women... that makes my urine turn bright neon yellow! haha, which is normal cause im excreting the extra nutrients/vitamins from my body. since i dont have time or sometimes energy to work out.. at least maybe this will help. 

anyways, nap time!

so i started another kdrama called Secret Garden. i think im actually going to finish this drama for once since i always start a drama but never finish it xD

have you guys seen it? theres 20 episodes

things i want to do today:

1. find that printer CD -___-... i dunno where it went!! argh! cause we changed internet companies and my printer prints using wifi and blah blah blah...

2. exercise

3. if im not lazy, practice my presentation and find props.

few days ago, Jade (classmate) invited me to her son's bday party. Jay and i arrived 2 hrs late cause we went to church to clean. 

omgah, they had the best authentic mexican tacos ever! they hired a mexican worker to cook authentic tacos and it was soooo cool how he made it! he tossed the sauce in the air and caught it with the tacos. every time he did that, i was like "whoa!.... whoa!" haha

Natalie (another classmate) was there too with her two sons. one of them she calls him "monster" lol. he's like, 2 years or so. soooo adorable!

Ronnie and Brittany were there too, and so was Carl. 

Ronnie and Britt had to leave 30 mins after we came tho. and Carl left too lol. i knew Carl would leave with them cause he would feel awkward with just me and Jay since he doesnt know Jay too much. 

Jay is weird... he says he doesnt care if i tell him if guys are cute or hot or w/e. he doesnt mind anymore, so long i dont lust for them haha. and then last night he told me he didnt care if i had a crush on guys (i think he meant more over celebrities). i think he believes "thinking he's cute" and "having a crush on him" are the same thing.. but i dont think so... cause i think "having a crush on him" and "lusting" are the same thing. o.O?

anyways, im a bit sad cause i dont have a lot of friends to hang out with now, besides Anielle :] which im very thankful for. 

everyone else is doing their own thing or are far away. but i knew this day would come already that everyone will drift off. 

i wanna become friends with my classmates, which is why i went to Jade's son's party and sorta forced Jay to go with me xD... he's like my security blanket. i got tipsy that day.. anyways. lol..

i should go exercise.