August 25, 2012
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so i havent posted in a while..
im a lil irritated at the moment..
bcus one of my classmates took credit for something i did.. but... w/e! i cant be mad at her bcus she's actually very nice and bubbly.. i think she just was caught up in the moment or something.
today's clinicals was very chill. my nurse was super nice and teachie. our clinical instructor is very chill too.
i really wish i can move out of here... each time i see Jay texting someone, i get super jealous.. and think automatically he is texting her.. it just kills me inside and i feel like i have no where to run.. bcus in this situation, i would usually ignore Jay and try to keep my mind off it... but once i ignore him, he would start complaining that i dont appreciate him for the things that he does for me.. but i do appreciate him when he does favors for me.. i would say 'thank you' but i guess its not enough..
i wonder if i just clean the apartment more often and do the dishes and fold the laundry on time and just solely do w/e he asks me to do if he does, would he still complain?
can i really continue to live like this for one more year? i dont want to move back to antioch yet bcus of all the traffic >.<..
will i go insane?
go into depression?
....im on my period right now so maybe im just over thinking. i ate hecka fat today @_@... cake and cookie... but it was only a small piece of cake.. and only one cookie. lol
sorry if ive been a b*tch lately maybe due to the pmsing..
sad.. i lost my drivers license..
i just havent had the best of luck these past few months.
just imagine if i wasnt a passive person lol..
Comments (3)
sorry connie :/ hopefully your license turns up like your keys did!
i think jay wants you to take initiative.
cause to be honest, i kinda feel for jay lol. i understand why he would get cranky at you so fast and acts so on and off. i think 90% of it has to do with the fact that he wishes you would take initiative cuz in that way it would seem like you care.
[im basing this off of how i am].
cuz for me i hated when i would have to beg giang to go hang out with my friends
or ask him to do something for me. cuz one it feels like i'm bothering him and two, it feels really nice when someone does things for you without you asking.
for instance: you're sick.
would you rather be tended to or having to ask your bf/friend to do everything? can you get me soup. can you bring me food. can you get me medicine. or wouldn't it feel nicer if they just did that all already without you even asking ? it feels more like they care right?
so if you just already cleaned/washed the dishes/etc without him even asking, he'd prolly feel really appreciated.
thats how i'd feel lol~
thats how i felt when i was with giang near the end of our relationship
i felt like he completely stopped caring about me and only did things for me when i asked him to .. out of the obligation of our title and bf/gf. but before he would just do things because he genuinely cared; he didn't even have to think about it.
i hope that makes sense.. lol
talk to jay about it [the texting/jealousy thing/moving out].. hope things work out the way you guys need it to
@ConKhii - i already know jay wants me to take initiative. but most of the time i dont know when or what he wants for me to take initiative. im clueless! lol.. im always trying to figure out what he wants me to do or would like me to do.
like i said, im the guy, and he's the girl.
for example, if he is sick... ill say, "want me to make you some soup? ill make you soup!" and then he will say, "no..... its ok...."... and im like -____-;;... i dont want to just make something he really doesnt want and then force him in the end to have it lol.
does his "no"... mean a "yes"????? haha
whenever i say ill do or make something he always says "no its ok".. and i dont know if he means the other way around. and because of that, i never do it.
plus, its hard to appreciate someone who im being hurt from constantly since im living with him and seeing him text this other girl and i can see in his face secretly smiling but doesnt want to show it.
gluck
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