May 13, 2012
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sooo.. since Hang doesnt have a phone.. ill just update briefly on here.
so basically, Jay and I were on the verge of breaking up yesterday
Jay lied to me again that he smoked and been smoking at work. and now that all the things he's been telling me is all coming together.
like how he feels insecure [bcus i might break up with him]; he thinks im too good for him; doesnt want to talk about marriage/doesnt know if he wants to marry [bcus of his bad habit and that i am trusting him less bcus of this lie]
after talking to Uly, Anielle, David, and Mitul.. i feel better. i have made my conclusion of this situation.
just now, Jay texted me.
Jay: i know i f*cked up... n if you leave or dont wanna stay with me ill understand i dont wanna hurt u with this phase of insecurity im going through. i do feel like i drifted away from you n you pointed that out yesterday i wish we can still be happy with the way i am now but seeing you cry makes me feel like you wont be happy anymore with me. im scared to lose you your the perfect girl n im messing up because of bad habits.
me: for now.. i want to just stay together and love each other for the moment and continue to love each other. and who knows what may happen. b4 we ever went out, you said you stopped this habit for me, so i gave you a chance. then you confessed you smoked.. and i felt lied to but i gave you another chance. and again his time im lied to again... but i still love you and hope that from the time were still together that you will quit eventually.
Comments (3)
oh no!
has he been smoking often and kept it from you ? sorry i wasnt there for you. hope everything will be okay. where are you now ? aww this makes me sad.. i wana hug you both.
sometimes i get scared that giang will start resenting me for quitting smoking for me. thats why i keep telling him he prolly shouldnt be with me if smoking/drinking is what he needs.
and sometimes i see cigarette packets/lighters in his car. he tells me its his brother's tho. i hope hes not lying to me either but im giving him the benefit of the doubt cause he never smells like smoke and doesnt have any oppurtunity to smoke except at work but even at work.. you can barely ever get breaks [esp now that he's a sushi chef he definitely gets no break]
@ConKhii - yea... my heart hurts... and its affecting my studies @.@...
>< wish i knew how to make you feel better.. heartaches suck:[ i hope jay is ok too. he must feel really bad. people make mistakes and smoking is a hard habit to break.. but it doesnt mean he doesnt love you ^^ hopefully he learns his lesson and doesnt keep it from you anymore. you should tell him that if he ever is about to pick up a cigarette he should call you and let you know so then you can talk to him and maybe curb him from it~ or something..idk
lub you connie!! *hug*
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