April 12, 2012

• im sooooooooooo happy to blog right now cause i feel like i havent in a lil while. 

  i dont have to read/study today yay!!!!!

  right now i dont know where to start.... everything is jumping into a knot in my head... anyways.. 

  ill start with yesterday.

  i was soooooooooooooooooooooooooo tired when i got home.. i was having a hard time prepping at Kaiser cause my account was invalid so i couldnt log on the computers!! so i had to use Audrey [classmate]'s account. it took me 3 hours at the hospital when it normally takes me around 2 hours. 

  when i got home, i just wanted to sleep.. but i got hungry... lol... after eating i just wanted to fall asleep.. but i had to prepare for the next day =_=... 

  eventually i said to myself, "forget it! i dont care if im not done! its going to take forever! im just going to try to sleep!! i dont care if Adriene complains!"

  then Anielle calls and asks if she can hang around until she has to get her sister haha. i said ok but that i might fall asleep on her. i couldnt fall asleep anyways cause of my disturbed sleep cycle sigh... plus i wanted to chill with Anielle xP

  she brought strawberries and chips :9

  anyways.. after she left, i tried to just go to bed.. but i couldnt sleep!! i kept tossing and turning.... it was 11pm.. and then i just got up and layed on the couch with Jay.

  Jay got annoyed at me cause i was, i guess, "taking up all the space" on the couch... -_-"....he says, "sigh.. im uncomfortable"... and he expects me to do something about it. so eventually he just gets up and irons his scrubs and goes to bed, and so i just followed. 

  he throws a fit as he gets ready for bed and says, "i cant f*cking relax!"

  me: is it cause of me??

  Jay: [pauses]... no

  me:...... ok so it is me.

  Jay: [doesnt say anything and goes to bed with me]

  in my head im like, "omgah.. w/e! you CAN relax! you just choose not to! if im in your way, effing just tell me to move! ill move! cant you just freakin TELL me what you want! instead having expectations of me??... cause im thinking.. 'so what if youre uncomfortable? get yourself comfortable then!'.. 

  cause now im thinking whenever he says he's uncomfortable, its because of me.. so i should just leave the room and leave him alone. 

  eventually, as im faced away from him on my side.. giving him the energy that im upset even tho i didnt say anything or do anything afterwards, he hugs me and kisses me gnight. which made me happier, but i was still annoyed. im still annoyed NOW and im kinda glad he's at work until late so we can have some space and i can cool off. 

  gosh... the married life!... xD 

  ...................................................

  the next thing i wanted to mention was..

  today started out bad.. but end of clinicals it was good.

  i woke up, heard a LOT of rain and wind outside... or just heavy rain... i did NOT wanna go to clinicals...

  i forgot to print out my medication sheet that i worked on

  i accidentally took the longer way to Kaiser

  the car turned off while i was driving out of the apartment and stalled as i was turning sometime later

  everyone else was sleep deprived so at least i wasnt the only one unable to think lol. 

  but i learned a lot today from Adriene w/ her stories and she was lenient w/ us today thank God! and both my nurses were sooooo nice! :]

  ....................................................

  one last thing..

  Jay and i bought these supplements recommended by his sister. one is a metabolism booster, this iced tea flavored drink that turns long chained fatty acids into energy, and i also got a multivitamin for women... that makes my urine turn bright neon yellow! haha, which is normal cause im excreting the extra nutrients/vitamins from my body. since i dont have time or sometimes energy to work out.. at least maybe this will help. 

  anyways, nap time!

  • 7:03 pm
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